How to Balance School and Relationships
Transition is hard, and leaving the military can create tension in the most solid relationships in your life. Going from the military lifestyle to some combination of being at home more, working, and going to school can be challenging for everyone involved. But there are some ways to ease the transition and make sure the important relationships stay important.
Attending School While Maintaining Relationships
Working through his undergrad while on active duty and immediately after helped one veteran figure out some tricks of the trade. He learned to let his ego go, sharing relevant and helpful experiences but remembering that his deployments and military experiences didn't carry the same weight in the college classroom.
"When I did my master's degree, it was a little more difficult because I had a kid," he said. "Luckily, my program held classes at 4:30 pm and 7:30 pm, so my wife could take care of my son while I was at class. I'd get home at 11:30 at night and had to be at work by 7:00 am, so that was rough on both of us."
This veteran found it beneficial to take a break in the summer -- something he recommends to those who are balancing more than just school.
Prioritize What's Important
After leaving the Marine Corps in 2013, Russell Hellyer went to school while married with kids and working. He learned a few things that helped him and shared them with other veterans in the same situation.
"Don't be afraid to scale back extras -- especially if you have a family and/or a job," he said. "Make sure to build a strong support group with family and friends. Ask the school for help as well."
Hellyer suggests taking advantage of counseling from the school and the VA. He reminds student veterans that colleges and universities want them to attend and are usually willing to help with the process.
"Build a strong relationship with veterans resources offered at the school," he adds. "Make sure all the paperwork is up-to-date and let them know what you may need, so they have the opportunity to help."
Financial Considerations
No one can claim they're getting rich from the military, but the world is very different on the outside. The Post-9/11 GI Bill® and the monthly housing allowance can be helpful when going to school full-time, but a recent Student Veterans of America census reports that three in five student veterans work while going to school.
Before the transition, a solid financial footing can help ease some of the burdens of leaving active duty and becoming a full-time student. Additional resources and scholarships are available to student veterans who need more financial assistance. Some may find it beneficial to take evening or online classes to eliminate the need for full-time childcare or work during the day.
Some veterans can take the lessons they learned from taking classes while on active duty and apply them to their time after leaving the military. According to this article in Military Families Magazine, the biggest takeaway is to have a support system and to talk to the people in your life. Developing a plan with those close to you is the first step. Just like in any relationship, communication is key.